Posts tagged ‘friendship’

January 25

Confessions of an Ex-Plastic

Contributed by Ashley Reed

562650_380865761975579_597577331_nSauntering down the hall with their Barbie-esque figures and saucy attitudes, the pink clad clique portrayed in Mean Girls resonates with many teenagers through its reflection of the social hierarchy played out in middle and high schools. In the film, a group of girls known as “The Plastics”, led by Queen Bee Regina George, spend their days harassing their peers and flaunting their perceived superiority. Enter, Cady, a homeschooler who enrolls in public school for the first time. Thrown headfirst into the jungle of high school drama, Cady goes from being an outcast to a member of Regina’s circle, becoming just as malicious as the Plastics in the process.

I went to a small private middle school where the girls had been in the same classes since pre-school. I didn’t really fit in and spent most of my time buried in books. That changed, however, when one of the girls from my grade’s version of “The Plastics” came up to me and informed me that I was now considered a friend. Eventually, I was accepted into the world of 3-way phone calls dripping with gossip, mall trips spent trying on clothes that were way too small and that we would never buy (or be caught wearing in front of our parents), and checking out guys at the movie theater. The thrill of being accepted into one of the recognized cliques at my school was exhilarating.

As you can imagine, the experience was not beneficial to my character whatsoever. I began to take on the characteristics of the girls around me – lying, gossiping, and teasing others. Ironically, the parents of the other girls liked having me around, seeing me as a positive influence for their daughters.  Inside, I was wracked with guilt, but didn’t want to lose my friends or gained status. Like Cady in Mean Girls, however, I eventually resurfaced into reality.

Breaking away from my old friends when we graduated from middle to high school wasn’t difficult, as they enrolled in a private Catholic prep school while I went on to a public high school. Transitioning from a small school to an institution with a student population of 2,500 was terrifying, but it also was a relief to let go of the daily gossip and rumors that pervaded my old friendships.

My take away from my adolescent experience is that you become who you surround yourself with.  Relationships formed in cliques are like plastic, breaking easily under pressure. I have learned that friendships are not built by music genres or clothing trends but by common interests and trust. Currently in college, I now have some sweet friendships that are unbound by the constraints of high glamour or feigned superiority, and it is liberating.

February 9

Friendship Matters

Remember when you and your spouse started dating? Talking for hours on the telephone? Asking never-ending lists of questions to get to know him better? Going out of your way to make her smile? Spending all of your free time together? These activities most likely helped to strengthen your growing relationship and to build a foundation of friendship for your marriage. Research has shown that happily married couples begin with a strong friendship. Friendships are created and maintained when we go out of our way to nurture our marital relationship. During times of stress, this friendship allows positive feelings about our spouse to take priority over more negative feelings. What can you do to nurture a marital friendship? It’s not complicated.

  • Take a walk together.
  • Send a text message when your wife has a busy day ahead.
  • Stock your husband’s favorite soda in the refrigerator.
  • Have a 10-minute “check-in” time at the end of each day.
  • Plan a monthly date night.

Most of all, remember what made you fall in love with each other – and remind yourself of these positive qualities when the negatives feel overwhelming. Couples who spend time together, communicate intentionally, and work together are investing in their marital friendship.

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